Making friends and building trusting and reliable relationships
Friendships and relationships can be hard work, especially if the other person does not understand what you have been through in your life. Although we try to avoid moving you away from your school or home, it can sometimes happen when you come into care and move into a new foster or residential home when you go into foster care. It can mean having to start friendships all over again with new and unfamiliar people. For anyone, this can be really hard.
But we know how important friendships can be. Good friends are there for us through thick and thin.
Your carers and workers have all made a promise to you to always respect and support you. This means they will help you make friends and be able to hang out with them so you can make happy memories.
If you have a foster carer, you can speak with them about being able to spend time with your friends, including having them round.
Your carers and workers are there for you if you want to talk through anything you might be finding hard with your friendships. Your social worker is also there to support you, especially if you feel unsafe or uncomfortable because of your friends or the people around you.
Help and support available to you locally
Stand Up Speak Up has a team of trained youth workers who understand what it means to be in care. Any of our team are more than happy to meet with you and discuss any challenges you may be experiencing with friends or relationships. You can follow us @standupspeak on Instagram and, if you DM us, we will get in touch and arrange a time to meet – or just chat to you online if you’d prefer.
We can also support you to join in some of our SUSU groups where you can meet other young people who are also in care or care-experienced and will ‘get it’ straight away. We run fun activities and outings with these groups so that you are supported to make friendships.
If you would like to go to a local youth group, we can introduce you to Space Youth Services in your area or to Avocados Advocacy who run a peer support network for care-experienced young adults.
If you are old enough to be in a more intimate relationship, SUSU youth workers can help you access sexual health advice and support and help you understand the difference between a healthy relationship and one that is not so healthy. The Mix has useful advice about sex and relationships, or check out @friendscantell on Instagram – it gives loads of great tips on recognising when a relationship is good or bad. We also have more information about sex and relationships on our help and advice pages.
Loneliness is a common feeling for most of us at one point or another, but if this is something you are experiencing a lot of the time, you may like to explore the Lonely Not Alone online community or talk about it with your carers or workers. You can also check out our mental health support page, and there’s plenty more of advice and support on the Devon Children and Families Partnership website.
